ethicalheaux:

squishable-amethyst:

amant-lesbienne:

angst-is-my-aesthetic:

scorpionbutch:

thallasiske:

my femme girlfriend: [hour and a half later] ok I’m ready to leave the house

me: [throwing on shorts and a tank top] okay baby i love you and you look so pretty

My overdressed butch ass: [hour and a half later] ok I’m ready to leave the house

My femme girlfriend: [throwing on a sundress and head scarf] okay baby I love you and you look so handsome

Me: [after spending 6 hours on my hair and makeup] Babe I’m ready to head out now

My femme wife: [who has also taken 6 hours] Okay babe I love you I’m ready and your highlight is poppin severely but you need to blend that contour in a little bit

Me: [fixing her eyebrows] I love you

my overdressed butch ass: [hour and a half later] ok love im ready to leave the house 

my equally overdressed femme girlfriend: [also hour and a half later] okay baby i love you we’re both so pretty

Me: [10 minutes and a tank top later] ok babe let’s go

My equally lazy butch girlfriend: [also 10 minutes and a tank top later] I love you honey but we gotta stop taking each other’s tank tops

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lesbevvy:

:o :0 and :O all have very different meanings in my head but i cant articulate them

goodgirlgonemmad:

Me: I don’t wanna be gay. I wish I was different.

[Sees cute girl]

Me: I’m so gay, holy fuck me sideways I love being gay, I love girls. So pretty. phew.

agentdalecooper:

agentdalecooper:

today i was talking to my coworker jess and she said to me “i’ve been trying to think of how to tell my husband that i want a horse. i’m really non confrontational and i don’t know how to tell him. like, thanks for the flowers, but i want a horse.” and i was like, “well, you could always send him subliminal messages. like tape pictures of horses all over the walls and stuff” and she gave me this really weird look and was like “i said divorce not horse“ oh my god…

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